A new chapter

Mia starts school tomorrow.

This time last year, i just had no idea what i wanted to do. I didn't have the confidence to give my photography and blog my all. I felt like i would fail and didn't really know what direction i wanted to go in. It took me many months to build up my confidence and to just say to myself that i can do it. I spoke with my husband and it was either, go and get a job or give my photography career a go. I wanted to still be there at school pick up and be there if they needed me for anything and Gilles was so amazing and supportive and said i should just give it a go and see what comes from it.

I actually didn't want this day to come. I have been dreading it from that day i submitted her school choices. It was hard sending Elle but it is even harder sending Mia. This is my last baby going to school! I have struggled over the last few months with the emotions but there is absolutely nothing i can do. She is going and i am excited for her. To help me adjust to this new chapter in my life, i have been writing down things that i want to do in my free time. Before i had the girls, i would ride my bike out to a wood or meadow and sit and read or take photographs or write poems or stories. It is something i have missed doing and would love to do again. Riding my bike more is on top of my list. I can drive but i love being able to ride my bike and explore places you just cannot with a car. Picking flowers or pine cone and putting them in my basket to bring home with me. I have just figured out how to put my car seats down so i can drive out to the countryside with my bike in the car and go on adventures over the meadows, capturing my days in little films and photographs. I want to be able to share my new adventure. Do more self portraits and document my days by photographs and by writing little stories when i have been inspired.

-I want to read more. My favourite author is Francesca Lia Block. Her books inspire me so much. They take me off into a completely different world and i have visions of wrapping myself up in a blanket in an autumn wood and just reading and drifting off somewhere else.

-I want to go around more charity and vintage shops. I just love looking around these shops and even if i don't buy anything, just being there makes me happy, especially sitting on the floor in the record sections and hunting through them to find some new records.

-I want to write. I want to just write what ever i feel and what ever comes out of my head and tell stories.

-I want to explore places i haven't before. I am forever seeing meadows and forests when i drive around and i want to park up and explore these places.

It is going to be very hard to adjust to this time. To not be a full time mummy. To actually be myself for 6 hours a day, five days a week. Of course, there will be days where i will be busy working or doing housework but i have to make the most of this time. I haven't been able to do these things for so so long and that idea of riding my bike through an unexplored forest is making my tummy all butterfliey!

I know there will be tears tomorrow. From me, not Mia. But she is beyond excited. She will be with her sister, learning new things every day and i will be there, standing outside her class room to pick her up and hear all about her day.