Siblings in may

I have felt so emotional this week. I don't really know what is wrong with me but i just haven't wanted the girls to go to school. I have sat at home wishing so much to go and pick them up. I think of their little faces and i just get such a lump in my throat. Nothing has really changed, there is no reason to even feel like this but i just miss them. I miss them now while they are sleeping and i know that once i have finished writing this post, i shall be creeping into their rooms. Elle will have written another note for the fairies. Each night, notes have been going back and forth between her and the fairies. I am going to be doing a blog post on this as it is something i am trying to help her anxiety and it seems to be working. I will read her new note and the "fairies" will reply to her. She will be half on the bed with, no doubt, one leg hanging out of the cover. She normally has her face covered with her hair and i always have to sweep it back to give her a kiss. She will have probably gotten a few more freckles in that time since bedtime. They are coming up on her cheeks and chin now too and the fairies have been telling her in their notes that each night they are giving her cheeks kisses so more freckles come out. Just thinking about it makes my heart skip. She believes with all her heart that they are real. I will have to turn off her music player. She currently has the frozen soundtrack on. I heard her singing to Let it go about 100 times earlier on in the evening. I peeped my head around her door and she had gotten on a princess dress and was twirling around. I will then kiss her a few more times and stare at her button nose. I shall turn off the light and stand at her door to make sure she doesn't stir.

Next i will go down the hall to Mia's room. Her light will be on and i know this can go two ways. I can turn off her light and she will stay asleep or i can turn off her light and she will sit up and say "mama, i want to sleep in your bed" and because i feel quite lonely, i will say yes and scoop her up and bring her into my bed. She won't go back to sleep and she will giggle all the way down the hall. I will have to shush her so she doesn't wake Elle up. She then jumps under the cover on Gilles's side and is wide awake. She will keep asking for a movie even though i will say no every time. She will then ask for her lullabies. I will sing Stay awake to her from Mary poppins and she will join in. She sings it so sweetly and as she sings, she tries her hardest to keep her eyes open. She always goes really high on the last note and then giggles at herself. The next hour will be filled with her trying to start up conversations about silly things and me telling her it is time for sleep and that we have to sleep. It will then end up with her snuggled with her back up against me and me with my arm wrapped around her. She will hold my hand and fall asleep. I will get a very restless night as i will keep waking to make sure she is ok and hasn't fallen out the bed. So yes, it could go that way. Or she could stay asleep when i turn her light out but i know full well that she will sneak in so quietly in the middle of the night, climb in next to me and fall asleep. One way or the other, i will wake tomorrow with her staring at me and saying "morning mama!". But i really wouldn't want it any other way.

"Siblings" is a monthly link up where myself and 6 other bloggers all share a photo of their children and then we each send you off to look at another blog. You can then go around in a circle, viewing all of the wonderful photographs and then why not link up yourself if you have two children or more! This month, i am sending you over to Katie at Mummy Daddy Me. Katie is  one  of my favourite bloggers and you are in for a treat as she takes the most wonderful photographs of her two sweet ladies.