Gingerlillytea

The tears came today. Not sad tears but happy tears. Too much love. It scares me sometimes. I just looked at Mia grinning at me on her playmat and they just came. She was looking up at her mirror, not a care in the world and was just smiling away at herself. And then she just looked ove at me and the smile got bigger.

She is so innocent. It hurts my heart to think of anyone ever hurting her. Elle has been hurt so many times now in her nearly three years and it still breaks me. When i get told her nursery that someone bit her because she went to give them a hug, or when she i running happily down the street and trips and scrapes her knees, elbows, face. And then her tears come and i have to be the brave one and console her and tell her that everything will be ok.

But i know that both girls will be hurt alot more in their lives. Boyfriends, bullies and maybe me and my husband might end up hurting them at some point and not even realise. I dred the day when i get the "i hate you" shouted at me. And i know it will happen as i am too protective over them already.

I remember myself as a teenager. I spent everyday hurt by others and i ended up hurting myself to make everything better and to take control.  I wish the girls could stay this little forever so i can protect them and not let them experience real pain and real heartache.