Eventful thursday

yesterday, i mentioned that Mia had her jabs. I think i have finally gotten over the drama of the appointment. We got there ten minuets before the appointment and got ourselves seated in the waiting room. The room was packed full of other mummies and their little babies. Half hour passed and we still hadnt been called in. I was getting very anxious and kept trying to fight back tears as Mia was grinning at me with her little gummy gums and i just knew what was going to happen. Other babies were coming out of the room screaming and it was making me even worse. I kept bursting into tears. A very strange man sat next to me and started telling me how beautiful Mia was and asking very inapproiate questions about her. I felt very uncomftable and the tears just kept falling. Luckily he got called into his doctor and then went. Gilles's dad then came in for his doctors appointment which i didnt know about and he sat next to me and calmed me down. After a forty five minuet wait, i then got called in. I stepped into the room and saw the bowl with the two needles in and just completely broke down. I couldnt even hold Mia and they had to get another health visitor to come and hold her. I just couldnt stop shaken and begged them not to do it but i know it needed doing. I just stood in the corner and listened to my little sweet baby girl scream and just cried harder and harder. My heart actually broke in two. I felt like the cruelest parent in the world. I thought about the other mummies and daddies in the waiting room laughing and not seeming to have a care in the world that their little baby was just stabbed twice. It did make me angry abit. If i hadnt of been upset, i might have worried that something was wrong with me! I came out of the room and my father in law was there waiting for us. I put on my moby wrap and tried to comfort my screaming baby girl. I was trying to get her in the wrap but i was shaking and she was screaming and then suddenly she just threw her head backwards and i grabbed the middle of her back but both her neck and back crunched. The whole room seemed to go silent and i just didnt know what to do with myself. My father in law went as he had some errands to run and i just grabbed my stuff and hid in the toilets. Mia was screaming her heart out and i was crying my heart out.

The door then opened and Elle's friend from nurseries mummy was there. She has just had a sweet little boy and he had his jabs just before Mia. She kind of scooped me up and gave me some cuddles. We got our little ones sorted and walked to the nursery together to pick up the older ones. It was lovely having that time with someone and it took my mind of the day. Mia fell fast asleep in the wrap and slept for about an hour.

After her first jabs, she was fine but last night she just cried and cried and all day today all she has wanted to do is nurse. I have had a few little smiles but she has been very grumpy and a hungry hungry girl. She and her sister and all tucked up now and i am trying to wind down from the last 30 hours.

And breathe.